[It's a little alarming to see her so torn up over this. A little alarming, but also a little validating. He's often been accused of brooding, of dwelling, of holding a grudge -- and that's all true, he won't deny it. But it's validating to see someone else react to this situation with the same swell of negative emotion he always feels when he thinks about it. Now for him it's mainly a familiar bitterness, one that he's learned to coexist with, but it's there all the same and he doesn't think it will ever entirely go away. His life could have been so much better if only...]

I wasn't kind and amazing back then.

[He can't let himself forget how much of the fault does rest on his shoulders. He has a predisposition toward cultivating a martyr complex, but he also is genuinely trying to be better, and part of being better is admitting to himself where he fucked up. It's a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B but it's helping, he thinks, in the end.]

We've reconciled, since. And I've had a very long time to learn from my mistakes. I would like to think I've become better.